I wonder why life seems so difficult sometimes.  I wonder why I make it that way.

When I take the time to stop, breath, and center I recognize that the stress and struggle is a result of my own tendency to over think things, to worry so much about making the wrong choices that I make no choice at all, to want to control the outcome of things so badly that I fail to recognize that I’m beating my head against a brick wall.  How is it that some people are so good at simply being in the moment, satisfied to let things be the way they are, filled with unfailing confidence that all will be right in the end.

When I was in my early twenties my father once said that I didn’t know how to take the easy route – I always found the most complicated, most difficult way of doing things and then succeed in finding ways to pile on even more difficulties.  He was right.  It only dawned on me tonight that this pattern has always provided me both with an excuse for why I have not been successful and an “out” when I felt like I couldn’t see things through to the end. I also realized tonight that it has undermined my happiness, my financial security, and my sense of wellbeing.

To succeed, we must do things that we have never done before.  I’m not exactly certain what this means for me, but I do recognize the truth in it.  I also know that we are creatures of habit and to change ones pattern of behavior takes Herculean effort and unfailing resolve.  To succeed with my business, to succeed financially, to achieve the goals I have set out for myself is going to require more than just hard work – it will require a whole new mindset.

Once again I find myself traveling down the hardest road that I can find.